Maddy is 10 weeks old!

You'd think since I'm home on maternity leave that I'd have time to update this blog quite frequently but apparently that's not the case. While Nels has been out either fishing on North Long or spearing on Pig Lake, the girls and I have been mostly watching Christmas movies on TV. All our presents are wrapped and under the tree - a personal first for me. I'm usually still shopping on Christmas Eve.

It's been nice to be home but I've got to face reality - my time is up. I go back to work next Monday. I'll be sad to leave Madeline, but I know Nels and my mom will take good care of her while I'm gone. I am looking forward to some aspects of work, like my lunch dates with DeLynn and Heidi every day.


But I still have a week left and it's the best week of the year. Nels and I are going to attempt to make lefse today for the first time and we'll probably make krumkake tomorrow, something we make every year, our way of paying homage during the holidays to our Norwegian heritage. Plus, they're so dang good. I'm taking Erika and a friend to Brainerd Tuesday so they can be Salvation Army bell-ringers and on Wednesday - Madeline's 10-week birthday - we'll be going to church with Nels' mom and his family before we head over to his brother's house to celebrate Christmas Eve.


On Christmas, my parents, brother and sister-in-law will be coming over and we'll hang out and open presents and then make our way over the river and through the woods to my grandma's house where we'll celebrate with the rest of my extended family.

What a wonderful end to my maternity leave - celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ with our own baby girl.

By request, I've uploaded another video of our smiley Maddy. She's such a happy baby. Here she's hanging out with her big sis, Erika.

Merry Christmas!

Maddy is 4 weeks old!

It won't make a top 10 You Tube video list or anything, but here is Madeline's online debut on the eve of her 4-week birthday. Warning: My voice gets a little annoying. It was my attempt at using the video camera that Nels got me for my birthday this year.

It's hard to believe that little Miss M is already one month old. Time has gone by fast, even in my sleep-deprived haze. Last night she gave me the rare treat of sleeping from midnight until 5 a.m. I hope it's the start of longer snoozes to come - for us both.

Maddy has her one month doctor's visit on Monday so I'm anxious to find out how much she's gained. She seems much longer now and she has filled out a bit, although she's still wearing newborn-size clothes.

While daddy went deer hunting with his cousins and brothers last weekend, Maddy, Erika, her friend Carissa, and I went shopping in St. Cloud. It was a fun, but short outing for us all. And my trip to the "Once Upon A Child" store proved informative. I was checking out clothes for Maddy when a woman came in to try to sell her bassinet, which was the exact same one as Maddy's been sleeping in that I had bought at a garage sale this summer. Well, I discovered while eavesdropping that the bassinet was recalled in August. Yikes. Two babies had been strangled to death in it, I later learned after I Googled it at home. So the next day my mom, Erika, Maddy and I went to Target and bought a new and safe bassinet, although it's actually a more useful travel light pack-n-play. The evil death bed is going to the dump.

Poor Madster. Mommy tries to save a few bucks and Maddy's life is threatened in the process. I also bought Maddy a sweet baby swing that she absolutely loves.

Well, this blog entry is being cut short since Maddy, who was laying next to me on her Boppy, filled her diaper with the mustard-colored poopies we've become well-acquainted with.

I'll spare you a video of that.

Maddy's first Halloween

Today was my official due date but fortunately Maddy arrived 16 days early so she could wear her Halloween costume I got at a garage sale this summer.

While Maddy didn't go trick-or-treating this year, her 15-year-old sister did. Erika and her friends Kat and Maria dressed up and headed out around 5:30 p.m.

Maria has lived in New Zealand for the past 10 years and just moved here in March so she was very excited to go out trick-or-treating since in New Zealand, Halloween isn't a big deal. She was so cute. She even made and decorated pumpkin-shaped cookies for all of us. Nels, Maddy and I just planned to stay home and hand out candy to the few trick-or-treaters who come to our door.

Happy Halloween, from our spooky family to yours.

Little Miss Madeline

She's here!

Madeline LaVonne was born at 3:23 p.m. Weds., Oct. 15, 2008, weighing in at 7 pounds, 15 ounces, and was 21 inches long.


It's been an exhaustive first week of maternity leave, between visitors and lack of sleep, but exhilarating since we finally have our lil' bundle of joy home with us. It's been a long nine month wait and I'm not that patient.

While my actual labor with her was unusually quick, the days leading up to her birth were very uncomfortable and I was frustrated because I didn't know whether I was actually in labor or not. I had terrible back pain starting at 5 a.m. Monday, Oct. 13th...but decided to go to an interview I had at 10 a.m. I didn't want to cancel everything in case it was a false alarm...then I went to the doctor afterwards and the doctor on duty said I was dilated to 3 cm. I had been dilated to 2 cm the following Thursday. They hooked me up to a fetal monitor and said I had plenty of "uterine irritability," but not strong contractions. However, she said I'd likely be having this baby within the next few days.

So with my cranky uterus, I went back to work and wrote my dang story, thinking that I had better do it now, otherwise it wouldn't get written for months. My irritable uterus was downright annoying, and I went home early from work, skipping a school board meeting that night.

I took Tuesday off and it wasn't until around 7:30 p.m. Tuesday, during a new episode of "House," that the back pain disappeared...and that's when I started to feel contractions every six to 10 minutes. Nels and I both took showers at 10 p.m., called family and told them we may be going to the hospital and then.... NOTHING... The pains went away and Nels and I just went to bed.

I had a doctor's appt. the next morning at 10:15 a.m. and decided to go alone, figuring Nels and my dad needed to finish the construction project they were working on. They are remodeling Erika's old bedroom across from Maddy's room into Nels' office and they were laying the wood flooring...or so they thought.

Instead, my doctor said I was dilated to 4+ cm and that we could do one of two things..he could strip my membranes and I'd go into labor later that night in a more natural way or he could just admit me and break my water and have the baby earlier. I decided to go with the first option since it seemed like a more natural process would be the way to go. But once he started doing it, he said I was actually at 5 cm and I needed to be admitted and have my water broken anyway. He told me I had time to maybe drive home and get my bag but since I had my bag in the car he had me go get it and come back to admit myself.

So I called Nels in the elevator on the way down, telling him to hurry, and then stopped by and saw my aunt Shari who works on the first floor to tell her the news. At this point the contractions were getting stronger ... and the walk to my car - at the end of the parking lot - took forever. I also called my friend and coworker, Heidi, so my coworkers would know that I was not coming back to work. The walk with my huge bag back to the hospital was slow, getting painful but still manageable, I guess.

I think it was just before 12:30 p.m. when my water was broken and Nels got there shortly afterwards. The contractions became more intense around 1 p.m. I was dilated to 6 cm before I got into the jacuzzi tub and within 20 minutes was dilated to 8 cm. That's when I started crying out for "Drugs! I need drugs!" And I got a dose of an analgesic that seemed to make me more groggy than anything. I got a second dose a half-hour later.

Soon after, I started pushing and with four pushes, baby Maddy had entered this world. Nels wasn't sure if I actually remembered that I was having a baby - since I was consumed by the pain and the seemingly unending rounds of intense contractions - and I think I had sort of forgotten about that. Nels was an incredible labor support person, as I knew he would be. He was in my face, just inches away, helping me breathe when I just wanted to panic and hyperventilate.

When they placed the baby on my stomach, it was a major shock. The baby didn't look much like me, or so I thought, and that took me by surprise. I didn't know what I had expected but for some reason I was a bit bewildered. Maybe I was thinking she'd be like another little Erika, 15 years later. I'm not sure.

I had pushed so fast that I had torn pretty badly so it took the doctor some time to sew me up while my mom, Nels' mom and Erika waited impatiently in the waiting room to see little Madeline. They had to wait an hour since Maddy had to get checked out, she had to nurse for the first time, etc.

But some time that day, I'm sure it was rather quickly, we all fell in love with her. Not just the idea of her joining our family, but with her, this new little person who is just too beautiful for words. It's in the way she grimaces, yawns and even sneezes. The chicken pecking she does on my chest when she's rooting around for her next meal (It cracks Erika up!) We also have gotten consumed with whether she went poopie or not. Erika often asks when she comes home from school.

So Maddy has become the center of our lives, especially mine. It's been 15 years since I had a little baby so I have a hard time putting her down. She has no concept yet of what it's like to sleep in her crib or pack-n-play during the day since we're always holding her. She's starting to sleep at least for 2-3 1/2 hours at a time at night but I'm still exhausted.

Nels and I celebrated our third wedding anniversary on Weds., Oct. 22nd. We did absolutely nothing to actually celebrate - we didn't even get each other a card - but we had the best anniversary gift either of us could have ever asked for - and it was more than enough to simply just stare at her for hours.

Sooner, rather than later...

I had the first of my weekly doctor's appointments yesterday and everything is going well.

I'm dilated to 2 cm and 50 percent effaced so things are progressing ... but like my doctor said, it could mean I go into labor today or three weeks from today ... He said I most likely won't go late, which would be fabulous because I'm not sure if I can even take three more weeks of waddling around with all the aches and pains I've been experiencing lately. I have aches in places I didn't realize I had muscles! OK, TMI...

But anyway, baby Madeline has to get her soon because she has an awesome pumpkin costume and cute little newborn caps and bibs she has to wear on Halloween, her due date, along with a great "future president" onesie she will be wearing on Nov. 4, Election Day.

The baby's room is bulging with stuff, thanks to the three baby showers and lots of garage sales I went to this summer. Nels and I bought a car seat on Monday after our childbirth class and our video baby monitor should be coming in the mail soon.

We are all set on everything — there's just one thing missing.

The baby.

Happy October!!!

What a great feeling to wake up today, knowing that the baby will be here within this month! (Or at least I hope so!)

We have four weeks to go, and I start my weekly OB appointments next week. Yesterday I think her bottom was firmly planted underneath my right ribs all day - It was difficult to breathe and it felt like my lung was folded over. Very uncomfortable. By last night I was ready to have a C-section if my doctor would have gone for it, but the discomfort went away by this morning, although it still feels like her feet are in there nearby, moving around.

I got a call last night from my 9-year-old nephew. He was sad because his hamster had just died. His hamster was a sibling of our hamster, which were born to his twin brother's hamster - if that makes any sense. Anyway, his hamster had this nasty tumor growing on its side so we knew that death was inevitable and we'd told my SIL and BIL that when his hamster dies, we'd gladly give them back ours since Erika doesn't seem to care at all about the little guy. He's more my buddy than hers since I'm the one who ends up feeding him and cleaning his cage.

So he called last night and asked if he could adopt back the hamster - and Nels was positively giddy. The hamster had been living in Erika's former bedroom, which is going to be remodeled into Nels' office, across from the baby's room. He refused to have the hamster living in there with him while he worked so I wasn't sure where I was going to put the little guy once the room was finished. (We'd tried keeping him out in the living room but one morning our cat knocked his cage off the counter, smashing the cage and nearly eating the hamster. Thank goodness I was home or our hamster would have been cat food! Our cat was perched about a foot or two away from the hamster, who has sitting on top of the crumbled cage, ready to attack, when I found them.)

So today my sister-in-law stopped by my office and took him. So sad to say goodbye since I have gotten attached to the little critter but I know my nephews are going to have fun with him....and he'll have much more fun at their house than being totally neglected and in danger of being eaten alive in our house.

I promise, we'll take much better care of the baby! :)

If they mated...

I had to find some baby pictures of Nels and me for the baby shower on Saturday so after a great deal of searching, Nels found the photos we used in our wedding slideshow of us growing up that we had set to music and played at our wedding reception three long years ago.

So I thought it would be fun to post some pix of Nels and me so if you're bored you can imagine what this little girl will look like before she makes her arrival next month.

The first three photos are of me. The last three photos are of Nels, including one of him and his older brothers, Ben and Mark.

Seven weeks to go!

We're nearing the finish line - I'm at 33 weeks - and I'm starting to feel as though it's time to evict this little girl from my body...she's been occupying my prime real estate for what feels like forever...but of course, it's still a bit too early so I'll have to put up with the new aches and pains for a little while longer...Sleeping is getting uncomfortable and rolling over is becoming an effort, too.

I spent two weekends ago walking miles around the Mall of America with Erika as she executed the slowest excuse for school shopping I've ever experienced..she takes forever and it seems like every teenage girl in MN was there shopping in Hollister, Abercrombie, etc...what a pain. I ended up hunched over like an old lady by Sunday night, crippled with lower back pain... Then this past weekend I was at the Little Falls Craft Fair, had to walk around a lot with at least a one-mile or more walk to my car. The baby was doing some sort of happy dance on my bladder that I seriously thought I wasn't going to make it A. to my car and B. to a nearby gas station. (The lines to the porta-potties were at least 15-20 people deep so I made the decision to dash to my car, rather than join the masses in sharing our germs.)

I did make it to the gas station, fortunately, and rewarded my thankful but empty bladder with an Orange Julius.

Erika seems happy to be back in school and is trying out for the community theater musical "Bye Bye Birdie" tonight. Hope she gets a role!

I have the first of three baby showers this Saturday (yep, I'm a pretty lucky prego-mama!) and I'm looking forward to them. At last count I think there will be at least 4 babies/toddlers there on Saturday so I'll get my baby fix before ours actually arrives.

Nels and I have our first childbirth class tonight. He's missing the first Vikings game of the season so he's not happy on several fronts about going.

I'm just hoping during our breaks there isn't a long line to the bathroom with all these pregnant women in the room. :)

Oh, Canada! (again)

Nels and I got back from a weeklong fishing trip to Ontario last Saturday. We spent a week at Separation Lake Lodge, not far from Kenora. It was about a 7-8 hour trip from home. We had a great time, but dang, fishing for six days is WAY too long. The baby was fine and I think she liked the rocking of the boat, which we spent about 8-10 hours a day in...but my butt could only take so much sitting on the plastic swivel boat chairs.

I took four books with me, thinking I'd read one of them, and read all four.

Erika, on the other hand, fared much better than her prego mama. She spent the week in New York City with my brother and his wife. She got fake nails, saw two Broadway plays (Mamma Mia! and Legally Blonde), went to the beach, a water park and went shopping. She flew out to NYC with my brother and sis-in-law and then flew back alone, meeting my mom in the Mpls airport where my mom had just arrived back from a weeklong trip to see friends in Colorado. The two of them then flew to Brainerd together. It worked out perfectly.

My dad stayed home and spent quality time with our dog, Daisy, and my poor grandma was responsible for feeding our two cats, two fish (in separate tanks) and hamster and watering our plants.

This was the only vacation I've planned to use for the entire year until my maternity leave kicks in when the baby's born in October. So sad to think I won't have anymore time off this summer, but excited that my due date is getting closer and closer.

As of this weekend I'll be starting my 27th week of pregnancy. I can't believe I'm entering my third trimester already. Time has gone by fast and the baby's room is like a storage room right now, heaped with baby gear I've bought at garage sales and a lot of Erika's stuff. My goal for the next month is to take everything out and bribe my dad and hubby to start painting. I'm heading to the paint store tonight to get some samples to figure out what color would be best. Nels also wants to install wood flooring in there, too.

I just hope we can get it all done in time.

My bad, this is my third daughter

Erika has long been BFFs with our neighbor, Carissa, who is 13. We share a backyard so they've played together since they were 4 and 5 and she practically lives at our house.

Carissa told me Sunday that really, this baby will be my THIRD daughter, since she's my second daughter. I said yep, that was true.

We took the girls to the cabin later and my sister-in-law helped the girls and my nephews tie-dye t-shirts. They had a lot of fun, and while Carissa didn't have a t-shirt, she tie-dyed a baby onesie I brought for her "little sister." It's very cute. She did a great job.

Carissa said she's going to be at our house everyday once the baby is born. I'm not sure how that will be any different than it is now, but that's OK by me. The more helping hands, the better.

We had a busy but fun Fourth of July weekend. We spent the majority of the time at the cabin, hanging out with my in-laws. My friend Suzy joined me and Erika and Erika's friend Kat at the Brainerd Fourth of July fireworks. It's fun to watch the display from the football field but apparently babies, even those still nestled inside a well-insulated tummy, don't like fireworks. Little did I know. The baby was moving around so wildly that I thought she was trying to hide behind my kidneys. Hopefully she won't remember the trauma after she's born.

Poor little girl. I promised her she wouldn't have to endure the fireworks next year. Not the big bangs, just the little stuff that her daddy and his brothers like to fire off at the cabin on the Fourth.

Baby's first hostage standoff

So when our newsroom intern and I were sent out on assignment yesterday to cover an incident at a government center about a half-hour away, we had no idea it was a hostage situation at a county board meeting until we were already on the road.

Fabulous.

I'm 5 months pregnant and heading towards a potentially dangerous situation. With an 18-year-old girl. I'm pretty sure Dr. Spock wouldn't recommend that for the baby OR our intern. Fortunately, we found out a short time later that the hostage siege was over and the man had been killed by law enforcement.

We still got ourselves shooed out of two different areas surrounding the building by men armed with AK-47s until we found the designated media sidewalk. We waited for a couple of hours, along with three other co-workers, until I could no longer remain standing in the 85-degree sunshine with a full bladder, so the intern and I took off in search of cold refreshments for the crew and a bathroom stall for me. After another couple hours on the sidewalk, with news helicopters circling overhead, we decided to split up and our intern and I interviewed some random people in the town and headed to the McDonald's in search of food for our now starving crew.

Then my car wouldn't start in the parking lot. Hard to cover breaking news with a broken down Camry. But after several attempts at starting my car it finally gave in and decided to start (fortunately) on the 15th or so try and third trip to the car. We headed back to the office having missed the second news conference because we were stuck at the McDonald's. Bummer.

When I got home my face was badly sunburned and the baby kept doing somersaults inside me, my stomach became tense almost like I was having contractions. I got a little worried — maybe the baby had too much excitement and stress for one day — but she calmed down after a half-hour.

And things have been going well so far since then.

I have started reading aloud to her before bed and she wiggles around a lot to the sound of my voice. I've heard I can grow a smart kid that way, so hey, it can't hurt. I'll hold off reading her today's story about the man shot by police after holding 10 people hostage — that's old news to my lil' bambino — and stick with Dr. Seuss.

Happy Birthday, Grandpa!

Today marked my Grandpa Les' 84th birthday had he made it this far...And ironically where did we celebrate his birthday? At another "Grandpa Les'" funeral.

Small world.

My aunt lost her father, Les, on Friday and the funeral was today. So Nels, Erika and I went to show our support. Les also spent his last few years at the same nursing home as my grandpa Les and both my aunts would go pick them up to bring them to family gatherings.

So three of my cousins have lost both their Grandpa Les' within six months.

I saw my grandpa's twin brother, Lut, (shown on the right with my grandpa playing their trumpets together) at the funeral but it didn't even dawn on me until a cousin mentioned it later that it was his birthday too. Duh. It must have been so strange for him to celebrate a birthday by himself. Sad, too, I'm sure.

On my way home from work tonight I stopped by my grandpa's grave and wished him a "Happy Birthday."

It just didn't seem right not to.

To dye or not to dye ...

I had my second doctor's appointment today. Everything is looking great, the baby's heartbeat is fine, my blood pressure is fine, etc. We went over the ultrasound results and everything is right on track and the baby is healthy, no abnormalities, etc.

While the ultrasound indicated my due date is more like Oct. 22 (our third wedding anniversary!!) my doctor decided to stick with Oct. 31 as a due date but said it's likely the baby will be arriving before that anyway.

I asked if I could FINALLY color my hair and he said it would be fine...but since Nels has big issues with this ("Why take the chance?" - He always tells me when I complain about my spreading gray hair) I asked if there was even the SMALLEST chance it would affect the baby... and my doctor said only if I drink the hair dye ... and I don't plan on it.

My next appointment is the end of July, after we return from Canada. I asked my OB/GYN if I could spend a week in the wilds of Canada and he said only if we bring him with fishing. I said sure.

Nels would probably enjoy fishing more with our doctor than his whiny 6-month-pregnant wife who'll have to take many pit stops to pee.

Warning: Spoiler Ahead!!

We had our ultrasound today. It became even more exciting when at 8:50 a.m. I looked at the informational sheet from the doctor's office and realized my appointment was at 9 a.m., not 9:30 a.m. like I thought. I panicked, called the radiology dept and told them I'd be late. They said I could only be as late as 9:15 a.m. (I live about 20 minutes away.) so Nels hopped in the shower and I sprinted to my car, carrying a large glass of water to drink along the way so my bladder was adequately full.

I got about 2 blocks when I knocked the water over, spilling it all down my pant leg. Fabulous. Raced to town and got to the Radiology Dept. about 9:17 a.m. or so, which turned out fine. Nels even got there before I was called in from the waiting room.

The baby was very active, jumping all over the place. So far everything looks great. We have one long-legged kid, a future track star.

And while the technician said she can't say with 100 percent certainty, there was definitely no man business shown on the ultrasound. Meaning, we're having a little GIRL. :) You can see her performing some ballerina moves in the ultrasound above. Erika was so excited and Nels said he's happy about having a girl. He told me that girls can go fishing, too. He's going to be a great dad and Erika's going to be a protective big sister.

Life is good...at least until this little one reaches her teen years. I've experienced that teenage girl drama (twice, really) and it's frightening every time.

What, it's not all about me??

I hung out for a while Sunday afternoon at my husband's family cabin, which is owned by him and his two brothers (this also includes me by default as his wife). The cabin has been in his family for 3 generations.

My other two sisters-in-law were there today so it was fun to sit on the dock and chat with them. One of my sisters-in-law, who is trying to conceive, was telling me how she was talking with our mother-in-law yesterday and a neighbor (who is my husband's dad's cousin, or something like that) and they were saying how much fun it'll be with a new member of the family joining us. It was exciting, she said.

That's when I realized that this baby isn't just mine, or Nels'... he/she already has TWO families who can't wait for him/her to join them. I'm not just giving birth to a child on my side of the family, but to a grandchild, a niece/nephew, a cousin, etc., for my husband's family, too.

It was a little strange wrapping my brain around that one. I guess it's not all about me.

My 9-year-old nephew, Luke, was crossing his fingers, toes and legs today, saying that he's just hoping for a boy cousin. So we'll see at Monday's ultrasound. I'm so excited for that. My brother and dad both said they think it's a boy. We will see.

On a related note, my husband told me Saturday that I have to stop reading stuff to him out of the pregnancy books I have because he's having nightmares. The night before we'd been talking about the delivery and birth, etc., and talking about some things I've learned recently about natural births. I'm working on a story on home births. I interviewed two sisters-in-law last week who gave birth in birthing tubs in their living rooms, three weeks apart. One of the women gave birth so quickly that the midwife wasn't even there yet. She got there 20 minutes after the baby was born. The woman, her husband and sister-in-law basically delivered the baby themselves. (It's true, I watched the tape.)

One of the moms loaned me a book about gentle birth options to read. It also has a DVD with six birth experiences to watch. (And yes, I forced Nels to watch them all with me.) Well, I think I believe in many of the theories behind a gentle birth but when it's time for me to give birth, I want to be in a hospital. I'm going to aim for a more natural birth, forgo an epidural, etc. (I didn't have one when I had Erika.) but that doesn't mean I won't refuse other medications or medical interventions if need be.

So the book says that it's important that the mother nurses the baby right away after the baby is delivered and criticizes how nurses take away the baby in hospitals to get it cleaned up, etc...The gentle birth way is to have the baby nurse within moments after he/she is born. Nels and I talked about this and I told him that that's what I want to do, to make sure the baby nurses right away.
That night Nels dreamt that the baby was taken away by the hospital nurses for an HOUR and he was running around telling them that they had to bring the baby back, that the baby needed to latch on RIGHT AWAY. He woke up freaked out. Too funny.

On a lighter note, the baby seemed to enjoy watching Sex In The City on Saturday. Either that or he/she liked the popcorn and milk duds I was eating because he/she was moving all over the place.

Swim little fishie ...

I was sitting at my desk, vigorously tapping both my feet, like I have a nervous tick or something, and the baby just WHACKED me.

It felt like a walleye had hit the front side of my uterus (as if I'd have a walleye swimming in my uterus, but you get the idea) and then it turned against the side of the "tank." I think the baby was doing a somersault and vaulted off the side ... pretty funny feeling but made me stop tapping my feet like a nervous freak.

Apparently the baby was trying to get my attention. Or maybe he/she had to puke.

I have my ultrasound on Monday, which will be our 20th week of pregnancy, the halfway point. I can't wait to find out the results. Erika wants a sister and Nels wants a son. Unfortunately, one of them isn't going to get what they wish for. So we'll see...

Stay tuned...I'll post the results here.

Here you go, Sweet Mary Sunshine!

My friend and fellow blogger, Sweet Mary Sunshine, tagged me, forcing me to finally post something, so here it goes:

1. What was I doing ten years ago?
Hmmm...The sucky answer is that I was doing the same thing I am now. So depressing! It was 1998 and I had been working at the newspaper for over a year. Back then two other reporters, who no longer work here, had attended Bemidji State with me and we all had worked on the campus newspaper, finally graduating to the "big leagues." Erika was four, and I do miss those days. She didn't text constantly on her phone back then and actually seemed to enjoy being in my presence. Oh, the good ol' days!

2. What are 5 things on my to-do list for today (not in any particular order):
- Wrap a present for my friend in Norway, a month past her birthday. Whoops.
- Start marking things in our scary cluttered basement for our neighbor's garage sale.
- Somehow sneak out of the house without Erika knowing and go watch "Sex In the City" movie, which is rated R. I'm trying to figure out how I can do this AND get ready for the garage sale at the same time.
- Finish a lame story I'm working on.
- Take our dog Daisy on a walk.

3. Snacks I enjoy:
Anything cheesy or fresh fruit. Since I've been pregnant I've alternated between craving Mexican food (not TOO spicy) and fruit. Course I did this before I was pregnant so I can't really blame the baby on this one.

4. Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
I would quit my job and be a stay-at-home mom who also travels to exotic locales, in addition to volunteering at my children's school. I've always wanted to volunteer at Romanian orphanages too, rocking and playing with orphaned babies. There are two programs that offer these types of trips. (Just like Sweet Mary Sunshine, only I was thinking Romanian orphans, not Fargo ones.) I'd also spend my summers on the lake, floating on a floatie all day, reading books.

5. Places I have lived:
-Pequot Lakes, MN
-Moorhead, MN
-Fargo, ND
-Murfreesboro, TN
-Nashville, TN
-Bemidji, MN
-Burnsville, MN
(That pretty much sums up my life!)

6. People I want to know more about: Hmmmm. All you faithful blog readers, feel free to do the same by leaving it in the comment section. I'd love to see if anyone actually reads the crap I write. :)

Where's Waldo??

So I snatched away Erika's yearbook a couple of nights ago so I could check out her and her classmates and even several of my own former classmates' children. At least one is (gasp!) graduating from high school this spring.

Imagine my surprise when I saw Erika in the group photo for the Mock Trial team...she also was featured in a Mock Trial photo on that page. The cutline said something about her doing some research. Well, Erika only went to Mock Trial once. She thought it was boring (she thought the case would be more like Law & Order SVU or something exciting) so she quit the team after just going to the first practice.

Then I find my daughter sitting with some friends on the Art Club page. Yep, she's not a member of the Art Club either. She later told me she was just visiting her friends during the club meeting after school one day and they snapped a photo of her.

Oh, and she was featured in a photo on the Spanish Club page, too, and while she takes a Spanish class, she says she's not in the Spanish Club. She also was on the choir page, which makes sense since she's a member of the choir.

I found all this quite hilarious. I told her this has to be her goal each year during high school — trying to sneak into every group photo so as to take up as much real estate in the yearbook as possible.

That's my girl.

On a baby note, everything is going just fine. I'm feeling a lot better than the first trimester and I'm starting to feel the baby move more and more each day. He/she loved watching American Idol this week. I'm hoping this means he/she will be a musical kid.

Babies on the brain

Ever since my friend Heidi's baby shower in January, I've had these four plastic babies on my desk as a type of good luck charms.

Apparently they worked pretty well, my quadruplets.

Months ago there were times when I'd forget I was pregnant, but it's hard to forget now. I feel like I've got a bun in the oven, even if it's not noticeable yet and I'm still wearing my regular clothes. I'm nearly 17 weeks pregnant..the baby is the size of a turnip.

I picked up some baby board and soft books at a garage sale today. I'm trying to prepare myself to read to the baby as soon as he/she can hear, which from what I've read that's at about 22-24 weeks pregnant. We'll see if I can talk Nels into reading to my belly. :)

A school board member told me Monday about a conversation she had with the district's literacy collaborative coordinator. The woman told her by observing adults she can pick out which adults hadn't been read to as a child....and she accurately pegged this board member as one who hadn't been read to as a child. She was one of eight children and her parents didn't have time to read to her... freaky. I wouldn't have guessed that. She seems pretty articulate to me.

So I plan to do some reading on early childhood and literacy and make sure our little guy/girl has a little library before birth, to give the baby a jump start on life. We just have to remember to take the time to read the darn books...something I didn't do as well with Erika.

But then, Erika's a straight-A student...apparently my inattentiveness as a parent wasn't too crippling in her life.

BTW, Nels is off buying my birthday present as I type this. As always, not a surprise. I'm getting a video camera. My birthday is Sunday and I'll be a whooping 37 years old.

Scary.

I feel the earth move ...

While I was sitting in church Sunday during Erika's confirmation I began to feel the fluttering movements of our baby for the first time. I've felt it a few times since then but I never seem to be sitting still and quiet enough for very long.

It was a little surreal. I'm watching my child, who is 14, getting confirmed before the church while my baby was wiggling inside. While it was Erika's big day, her little brother/sister was making his/her presence known. Maybe that's a sign of things to come. I have another little drama queen on the way. Yikes.

I'm now at 15 weeks pregnant. The baby is the size of an apple. Speaking of babies, my coworker and his wife found out they're having one baby for sure - they got to see the heartbeat at their appointment on Monday - but there was another sack there that may or may not contain another baby. Doctor said it's probably a single baby but they'll know for sure at their next appointment in a couple of weeks. They are due Dec. 23 so I'm sure our maternity/paternity leaves will overlap.

Babies everywhere!

Something in the water cooler ...

I just found out today that my co-worker's wife is pregnant! I'm so excited for them. They've been trying for quite some time and used in vitro fertilization...first time was a charm for them. They'll find out Monday how many babies they're having. The baby (or babies) are due at the end of December.

So he sits to the left of me and some coworkers are already speculating that there will be a third pregnancy in the newsroom. Hard for me to think who that could be (except there's one person I hope it will be!) but hey, the more the merrier if they'd like to go to garage sales together on our lunch breaks!

Speaking of garage sales...I went to a great one today on my way to work. I got a Winnie the Pooh bassinet that plays music, a baby jumperoo-thingy and a baby swing...all at a great low price. I was so excited. My car was packed. I loaned the jumperoo-thingy to my coworker Heidi so her little guy can test drive it for us. I hope he puts some great bouncing miles on it.

Our baby is only the size of a lemon right now, but he/she is already getting some fun things to play with/on. We just have to wait about six more months.

Rain + Kids = Strep

I spent last Friday running in and out of the cold rain during a school district tour with the four superintendent finalists. It was miserable and Saturday wasn't much better except I was digging my car out of several inches of snow so I could attend the candidate interviews at 8 a.m.

Needless to say, I think it was the visits to the two elementary schools (germ factories?) where I ended up getting strep throat. I stayed home from work Monday and Tuesday until I determined there was no way this was just a cold or flu so I made Urgent Care appointments for both me and Erika, who ended up coming home sick Tuesday. Our tests found that she had a cold while I had strep throat. They gave me antibiotics that are apparently safe for the baby and so far I think I'm starting to feel better. I returned to work Wednesday afternoon, anyway, whether I'm cured or not.

I don't know if it's because I'm pregnant or not, but this illness really hit me hard. I've had strep before (usually thanks to Erika) but nothing like this. At times I felt like I couldn't breathe when I was trying to sleep, my throat felt like it was closing shut. The last three nights I've found myself awake and getting a drink of water about 5 times a night.

You'd think the baby was already here!

A funny thing happened on my way ....

So I'm on my way back to work from a school board meeting this afternoon and I find myself behind an SUV with "No Clu" written on its bumper sticker. I didn't start laughing until I noticed that this "Clueless" driver had a George Bush for President sticker leftover from the 2004 election stuck on nearby. Too funny.

Then I get to work and one of our wacky regular callers (clearly off his meds) had called several times because he said his scrambled eggs look like it has a face on it. He thinks it's one of the three kings or maybe Jesus and wants a photographer to take a photo of it.

Is there a full moon? At least it's not fall yet. That's when we get the calls from people who have strangely shaped or incredibly large vegetables.

Never a dull moment.

On a brighter note, I'm happy to report I've now entered into my second trimester. Yay! One down, two more to go.

Teens and babies

While Erika is excited about having a new brother/sister, she's also a regular teen who is pretty absorbed in her own teen dramas...and doesn't really care much about seeing an ultrasound or (gasp!) watching her mother in labor. (I offered at least!)

I've had a few people tell me that it'll be so crazy having a baby now since the last time I went through this situation was a whooping FIFTEEN years ago...but I think it might make things easier. I know what I'm in for and hopefully can correct some of the mistakes I made when I was a single, young working mother.

For example, I didn't read enough to Erika, nor did I focus on getting her ready for kindergarten. She watched too much TV and God forbid, I'm sure I fed her way too many foods laden with high fructose corn syrup.

No she isn't developmentally delayed - she's a straight-A student - so fortunately I didn't cause too much damage from my parental neglect. But I had hoped to instill a love of reading in her and that clearly didn't happen. She only reads Seventeen and Sweet 16 magazines. I don't know the last time she actually picked up a book to read for fun. And from the endless amount of time she spends texting and chatting on the phone, I think she's on track socially, too.

But sometimes I think even though you have the best of intentions — my husband plans to make and grind our own baby food for this new little one — it's really a genetic luck of the draw.

I just hope this next child is as brilliant as I'm hoping he/she will be. And I hope to God he/she doesn't inherit my poor math skills.

I'm addicted

I have to share this new blog I found, courtesy of the Star Tribune's Cribsheet blog.

Matt Logelin and his wife, Liz, who are from Minnesota but live in Los Angeles, brought their beautiful baby girl, Madeline, into this world on March 24, 2008. Sadly, Liz died suddenly the next day of a pulmonary embolism, leaving Matt to carry on as a single dad of a preemie little girl.

While his blog will definitely at times leave you in tears, it also demonstrates the beauty of the human spirit to carry on in spite of deep personal tragedy. His story is truly humbling.

(Garage) sailing into summer

It was so beautiful today that there was no way my co-worker, Heidi, and I could stay at work. She got off early and I took a long lunch break and we went to three garage sales, along with her 3-month-old son, Jonah.

While the garage sale season isn't quite into full swing yet, it has picked up this week. I found some great things and only spent about $7. I got two baby sleepers, a huge pack of baby toys and rattles, a baby water floatie thing (Heidi and I got matching ones, for Jonah and my baby!) and my best bargain was an entire four-piece crib bedding set (Classic Winnie the Pooh) for $5. What a bargain. It's so cute and I have been thinking about decorating the baby's room in Classic Pooh anyway. (Erika's nursery was all Winnie the Pooh stuff too but not Classic Pooh.)

Heidi and I are going to take a long lunch break tomorrow and hit a couple more baby-related garage sales. It's fun when you can find great deals on cute stuff and even more fun when you're finding them with a friend!

Getting ready for baby

Nels said he didn't need an ultrasound to know that this baby is real and will arrive soon enough, but it seems he's now in a full-on nesting mode.

We've wanted to replace our living room/dining room carpet for awhile but he decided yesterday that THIS is the week we're getting hardwood floors. Our carpet is way too light for the number of pets and children we've had running through there...and after 10 years, the carpet is coming up at the seam between the dining room and kitchen (thanks mostly to Callie, our cat), exposing the little nails. A baby can't be learning to crawl over that.

His wedding season starts at the end of April so now is really the time to get the job finished if we're going to do it. Otherwise, we'd have to wait until next winter and the baby will be here and he'd be sawing wood in the house...it just wouldn't be a fun time to do that. He'll be laying it himself, with help either from a friend and/or my dad. He figures it'll take about two days. He and his friend Biff, another wedding photographer, installed the flooring at their shared photography studio at Franklin Arts Center a couple of years ago. It's nice to be married to someone who is handy!

So I'm meeting him later today to check out flooring. We're going to keep the linoleum in the kitchen for now and then later replace that with tile.

After this project, the next step will be painting the baby's room and getting it ready for baby, which means Erika's computer and TV needs to make its way across the hallway into her room. I also have to get ready for a garage sale, clearing out the spare room in the basement that is a mess, and dig out what baby equipment I still have, which is really only a bassinet and a highchair.

The work is on, I guess, and it'll be exciting once it's finished.

Baby's first photo

It's really official now...We're having a baby!

To the left is the first of many photos of our little baby. We had my first doctor's appointment today and were happy to find out we were getting an ultrasound. Even Nels was pretty happy to see the baby swimming away. It was definitely reassuring for me. I told Dr. Leland that I know I've missed two periods, "flunked" two pregnancy tests and have had definite bouts of morning sickness but still I wondered...am I really pregnant?

Well, the answer is in black-and-white. :) We'll find out in June what the gender is but for now it's nice to know there's a baby inside, even if he/she looks like a hamster!

What's New in Our Zoo, Part II

Sorry for the long hiatus. The topic I most wanted to blog about I couldn't — until now.

Erika's hamster isn't the only addition to our family this year: I'm pregnant.

It was an unexpected surprise but we're very excited. We told our families over the Easter weekend and they were thrilled. Erika is very happy, too, even though she'll be losing one of her TWO bedrooms. Yes, she's had a rough 14-1/2-years of not having to share anything with anyone.

Our lil pumpkin is due Oct. 31 — Halloween.

I'm just hoping my morning sickness ends sometime soon. (I'm at 9 weeks right now.) I got so violently ill Saturday night that the next morning I woke up to discover I had broken capillaries in my forehead and cheeks. I look like I have a rash on my face! Fortunately, make-up does a good job of covering it up. I never got sick at all with Erika so this isn't much fun right now. I've also been extremely exhausted. I've been going to bed early, as early as 9-9:30 p.m. a few times, which is unusual for me.

But I guess I better get all the sleep that I can.

What's new at our zoo

On Christmas Eve, my sister-in-law pulled me aside to tell me that Santa was bringing a hamster for one of my twin nephews, Jack. She asked if we could hamster sit for the two weeks that they'll all be in Florida. I said, sure, why not? We've got two fish, two cats and a dog ... we've got more than enough room at our zoo.

Well, last week I asked Jack how his hamster, whom he named Clarice, is. I guess Santa had a trick up his sleeve when he brought Clarice down the chimney at their home on Christmas. Clarice was pregnant, they soon learned, and delivered four babies! Yikes! My sister-in-law was livid and called the pet store, which graciously said they would take back any hamster babies they didn't want. Erika was there when we were talking about the hamster babies and she instantly wanted one...and I'm a softie so I told her it was OK.

Well, I got a call from Jack's twin brother, Luke, today at work and he told me that his mom said it was OK if he adopted one of Clarice's babies and asked if we could hamster sit for two weeks for him, too. I said, sure, why not? The more the merrier.

My sister-in-law told me that she would be going back to the pet store to sex the furry babies and they would be taking a female one for Luke. No more reproduction lessons for her third-graders. Then they'd leave one of the babies there and bring the three hamsters, including Erika's baby hamster, to our house for 2 weeks. (The fourth hamster baby, the runt of the litter, apparently died. Or was eaten by its mother, my sister-in-law said. Ewwww. Such is life, I guess, for furry rodents.)

I'm hosting our annual Christmas gathering for my high school friends at my house a week later so it'll be pretty interesting to have 3 hamster cages lined up in a row in our guest bedroom.

Maybe we could charge admission for our little zoo.

Grandpa's sign

As you may have guessed, my grandpa Les died last Monday, Jan. 7.


I was holding his hand when he took his last breath. It was sad, yes, and very surreal. He died surrounded by those who loved him, my grandma (his wife of 61 years), two of my aunts, my uncle, my mom and our pastor. I was so glad I was there, to not only say goodbye but those of us who were in that room with him witnessed a miracle as his soul went to Heaven. Believe what you may, but when our pastor led us in The Lord's Prayer, my grandpa's ragged breathing slowed to a peaceful end and his coloring changed ... As we all talked about that moment the next day, every one of us had known that was the moment he left us. I've had a dull ache in my heart ever since, knowing that when I walked out of his room at his nursing home room, that it would be the last time I would see him. My grandma's last words to him were something like, "Now you get some rest, Dad."


I took the week off from work, finished writing his obituary and took many hours finishing the DVD photo slideshow about his life that I started before Christmas ... I stayed up most nights until 4 a.m. finishing it, but the 30-minute show was beautiful, fitting and sentimental. It played on a large 7-foot screen at the visitation and on a TV before the funeral at the church. The funeral director said he's seen a lot of slideshows - they're becoming popular at funerals - but he'd never seen one so well done before. Nice compliment for me. Poor Nels had to spend hours last week making dozens of copies of the show for all my relatives. If I can figure out how to get it on YouTube, I'll post a link to it on my blog.

Nels told me I shouldn't tell the following story to anyone since they'll think I'm strange...but like my BFF said to me when I told her that she said "Yeah, well, we already know you're strange so it's OK." :) A BFF's opinion trumps a hubby's opinion anytime, right?

The night my grandpa died, I was driving home alone and asked outloud for my grandpa to please give me a sign that he's OK. You see, the last couple of years because of his progressive disease, he couldn't really talk, just mumble yes or no, really. His mind remained sharp but his body betrayed him. I felt that if he could just send me a sign that he was OK, it would make me feel better.

I went home, told Nels that he died, then knocked on Erika's door. I hugged and rocked her as she cried in my arms in her doorway after telling her the news. She and grandpa were very close as I've mentioned earlier. The photo posted above is Erika and grandpa at a cousin's wedding, one of my favorites.

Throughout the week, as I scanned photos of my grandpa into my computer and worked on the DVD slideshow I would ask him again outloud if he could just send me a sign that he was OK. That's all I wanted.

We created a table of memorabilia at the funeral home Friday and at the church Saturday, a display of all the wooden sleds, stilts and other wooden items my grandpa had made for all of us over the years (my idea, which seemed crazy at first but was an awesome display). The wooden stilts were lined up in a row - five pairs that me and my cousins could find - with our names painted on them. I also displayed photos that Nels had taken of my grandparents and all their grandchildren and great-grandchildren. It was nice.

Anyway, after the funeral we headed home to change clothes and planned to go over to my aunt's house. I went into my bathroom to get freshened up and was thinking about how maybe our town's noon horn (which blows at noon and 6 p.m. every day) was a sign from my grandpa. It certainly was a fitting tribute, it blew while my immediate family was standing around his grave. He didn't want Taps to be played but the Color Guard stood at attention nearby. When the short graveside service ended, the horn blew at just the right moment. It was cool ...

Well, I then walked into the kitchen and Erika was sitting on a stool, having poured a large glass of A&W Root Beer, which I was annoyed at because we were just about to leave to go to my aunt's house. I told her to sit right there and chug it ... we had to go.

That's when Erika picked up the piece of flat wood that had her name carved into it from the counter. It had been one of the last things grandpa made for all of us a few years ago, individual wooden signs with all of our names carved and painted on them. I had taken them up to the church for the display.

Erika told me that she knew I had found that sign in her room, which I did. Nels's and my signs were in the garage while hers she had on the second shelf above her bed. She then told me that the sign fell on her the night grandpa died, striking her in the head.

I did a double take as she took a big gulp of her root beer. I asked Erika when exactly had the sign fallen on her and she said about a half-hour after I told her that grandpa had died. I asked if she had moved or touched the shelf and she said she hadn't, that the sign just fell on her.

That's when I realized that grandpa had sent me a sign - an actual sign - but Erika hadn't told me about it. If you knew my grandpa, you'd know that if he could play a prank on Erika, even if he was, um, dead, he would. They had that type of relationship. They loved to tease each other.

I know he's out there somewhere with that familiar twinkle in his eye and smirk on his face, knowing that he had found the very best way to send me the sign I longed for, by bonking his "Putt-Putt" on the head with an actual sign made by his very own hands just for her.

Maybe it was his way of telling Erika, who was grieving, that it was Ok, that he was still here for her.

And I had received the sign I was waiting for.

Lester Milford Tweed 1924-2008

Saying Goodbye

Does 2008 suck or what? For me and Britney Spears, both.

I spent eight hours yesterday at my grandpa's bedside at the nursing home, along with many other family members, watching him take ragged breaths throughout the day. It was almost easier to just stay and sit beside him, holding his hand, than to leave. Saying goodbye, when you really do mean goodbye, is one of the hardest things to do.

We didn't think he'd make it through the night but my grandpa is stubborn. He's going to go in his own time, not ours. I took the day off and plan to go back out there today and be with him and my grandma. My aunt Sal stayed the night with him and we're trying to make sure someone is with him at all times. No one, especially grandpa, should have to die alone.

It's difficult to explain the type of relationship my grandpa Les has had with his grandchildren and great-grandchildren to most people. He truly loved his grandkids, and in fact, the only people he'll open his eyes for now, in his weakened state, are his grandchildren. Nels tried to console me yesterday, telling me that we should feel grateful we had the type of relationship we had with him, that many people never have that opportunity. I told him I don't care about those people ... Maybe it makes dying a whole lot easier when you don't know them as well. I don't know.

Erika cried inconsolably in our bed last night. My grandparents lived with us for five months about five years ago when they were building their home. They helped raise her. When they moved into their new house, just a couple blocks away, she would get off the bus there and stay after school. She and grandpa would fight over the remote control, grandma's cookies and just about everything else. He called her "Putt-Putt." She tousled his hair whenever she got the chance. She and grandma would make snow angels together and get into snowball fights. They both looked forward to her getting off the bus around 3:30 p.m. everyday. Even their dachshund, Greta, watched for her school bus.

Erika was so sweet with grandpa last night. Erika and I stroked his arm while my aunt Shari held his hand and Erika shared stories about her and her great-grandpa. I'm so thankful that she has gotten to know her great-grandparents as I and my cousins have. And I'm grateful that my daughter is as sweet and caring as she is.

I was thinking last night about how sad it is that, if and when Nels and I have a child together, this child would not know his/her great-grandpa like Erika. I'm not the only one who feels that way. My cousin Shannon told grandpa yesterday through her tears that she would tell her 3-month-old son, Mason, what a special great-grandpa he had.

But as I look through the many photographs I'm compiling for a photo slideshow at my grandpa's memorial service right now, I realize that even though he won't be here any longer , thanks to an insidious disease called PSP, he'll always still be here because we are here. My cousin Heidi called him "the anchor" in our family, and she was right...and he'd appreciate the Navy reference.

And as my aunt Shari kept telling my cousins when they called, "Grandpa knows you love him. He knows."

Happy New Year?

So after a couple of months of covering layoffs and budget reductions at the local school district, the crappy economy hit home for us. On Jan. 2, my husband was laid off from the newspaper, along with three others. Fabulous. Happy 2008!! In a nutshell, the newspaper business sucks right now.

Actually, he's totally fine with it. He's almost giddy, in a way. I should be relieved that I still have a job (although I've become a little skittish at the end of the workday, because that's when they like to pull you into the HR director's office and ask you to give back your key.)

He was only working part-time and actually was going to quit in April anyhow. His wedding photography business is doing very well. He was given seven weeks of severance pay so it worked out pretty well for him. He's getting paid to go spear fishing for the next couple of months. We'll be up to our ears in smoked whitefish but hey, who doesn't love smoked fish...and maybe we can sell it on the streets in dime bags if we have to ...

But the whole situation has stunned me..I've found myself tearing up on and off throughout the past couple of days. I think I'm in mourning. We started our clandestine love affair at work more than five years ago so it's hard for me to imagine that we don't work together anymore. For the past six years we've gone out on stories as a team and frankly, in my highly biased opinion, he's the best photographer the paper has had.

When your hubby is laid off from the same workplace, it's interesting to see how people react to the news...some are very sweet, come up to you and tell you they're sorry, ask you how he's doing and how you're doing as well. Others seem to be happy that it's not them then continue to bitch about their jobs. And others avoid eye contact with you or simply stare, trying to read your facial expressions.

That's life, I guess.

The night he was laid off, my husband was flossing his teeth as he got ready for bed and his temporary filling popped out. Since he already had a root canal his dentist told him Thursday that as long as it's not bothering him he could just wait until his appointment to get it fixed.

I couldn't help but picture us living in a trailer, me and my unemployed toothless hubby.

I couldn't stop laughing.