Sunday, November 26, 2006

There's going to be a wedding!

We got a call today from Nels' brother, Mark, who told us that he and his girlfriend, Patti, are getting married! Yay! I get another sister-in-law. I'm very happy for them. She's a great person.

But it sounds to me like their wedding plans are going to be TomKat or J.Lo style ... quite secretive until the big day so the paparazzi don't show up in their helicopters. The wedding will be the weekend of Feb. 22, but they're not telling us where, just that we have to take that Friday off from work and make sure our entire weekend is free for the festivities. Our only clue is that the wedding will take place about three hours from Brainerd.

Sounds intriguing, doesn't it?

Saturday, November 18, 2006

No sooner had I written this and ...

So Erika babysat for a new family that lives in our neighborhood tonight, the same night that I had my column published about her babysitting experiences ... and I mentioned she hadn't had any big problems babysitting ... until, of course, tonight, of all nights, she had a mini-disaster.

Erika was caring for two little boys, ages 2 and 4, and the oldest has severe food allergies. While nothing bad happened in that way and the boys were great, Erika was checking out one of the epi-pens a little too closely, opened the top, thinking it was the "pretend" epi-pen that the dad used for a demonstration because she couldn't see the thin needle and the thing discharged on the table. She cleaned it up, she wasn't poked with the epi-pen but she spent the night tormented, feeling guilty and worrying that they were going to be mad at her. She called me a couple of times, saying that she just felt so guilty. I felt so bad for her. She said they were really nice about the whole disaster, she told them immediately, but she still felt so bad.

I guess it's a good lesson for her -- to leave the dang epi-pens alone -- but it's hard when you're the mom and it's your kid that makes a bad choice. I guess I just need to be prepared. I'm sure she's got bigger mistakes to make along the way.

Here's the column I wrote:

The baby sitter sometimes needs baby-sitting
Mom sometimes feels like a receptionist for the baby sitter in demand.
By JODIE TWEED
Staff Writer
There's that oh-so-brief moment in a young girl's life after the Barbies and Bratz dolls are packed away into storage but the trappings of teen life - dating boys, summer jobs, cell phones - have yet to fully consume their lives.

It's the age of the perfect baby sitter, or the time when most girls begin their teenage baby-sitting careers with unbridled enthusiasm.

My 13-year-old daughter, Erika, started baby-sitting for other families about six months ago, which has made my life as a parent all the more busy.

I've become her receptionist of sorts, making sure she is aware of her various baby-sitting duties and briefing her on the names and ages of the children she will be caring for. While she could easily do much of that herself - and it annoys her when I'm constantly reminding her of the obvious - it's hard to stop being a parent. Plus, her baby-sitting has to be worked out with our family schedule, which can be hectic.But I'm thrilled that's she's found something she truly enjoys and she's helping out other families as well. She is mostly baby-sitting for families from our church and those who live in our neighborhood.

I've noticed that baby-sitting for other people's children has made her more responsible at home. She's also proud of herself for earning some extra spending money, which came in handy for her when we went to a concert at the Xcel Energy Center this week. She could spend her own hard-earned cash, instead of mine, on an overpriced concert T-shirt.

Baby-sitting is more than just about earning money. A teen has to enjoy it. As my daughter has told me before, baby-sitting allows her to be a kid again by playing with the children and she likes that part the best.Baby-sitting starting at 11 allowed me to earn enough money to pay for my Madonna and Duran Duran cassette tapes and countless Tiger Beat magazines, but I haven't heard of a lot of other teens who baby-sit as often as my friends and I once did. So I asked a few moms what they look for in a baby-sitter or even if they use them. Several moms said they find their sitters through referrals from friends or by finding teen sitters through their church.

Courtney Neifert, a stay-at-home mom, moved to Baxter four years ago with her husband. They don't have any local family members to lean on to occasionally baby-sit so they've had to rely on hiring baby-sitters for their daughter, Lindsey, 1, and son, Brandon, 3."Sometimes it's tough," Neifert said on finding a sitter. She said she and her husband try to go out two to three times a month and are in need of a sitter those nights. They have two older teen girls they now use, but she recommends having at least three different names of sitters in case they're too busy with their own activities.

"They're about to get their driver's licenses, which is great, but their social lives are expanding," Neifert said of her teen sitters.

Joleen Merrill, Breezy Point, is a coordinator of the Mothers of Preschoolers group that meets at the Crosslake Log Church. She said finding a sitter is often a topic among the other moms in MOPS, who often make recommendations to one another. Merrill has two children, ages 1 and 3. She said they haven't yet hired a baby-sitter but she and her husband "talk about it a lot." She said they've done a baby-sitting swap with their friends where they watch each other's children when they need it.

"It works out nice because you don't have that added expense of baby-sitting and going out for dinner too," said Merrill of trading baby-sitting services with friends.Merrill said she, too, started baby-sitting at age 11 or 12 adding, "And I don't know for the life of me how those people learned to trust me."

She said when she and her husband do decide to hire a sitter, it'll likely be a girl who attends their church where she would know the family.While I trust my daughter, no matter who she's baby-sitting for I'm at home wondering how things are going. I'm always worrying about whether she's being responsible, respectful and picking up after herself and the children. I'm hoping the children aren't dangling precariously from a balcony or that whatever she's making for dinner isn't burning on the stove. But so far, she hasn't had any baby-sitting disasters (that I'm aware of) and I try to call at least once while she's baby-sitting to check and see how she's faring.

Like a teenage Mary Poppins, she has a red canvas tote bag she designed in her baby-sitter's training class last spring that she carries with her whenever she goes baby-sitting. The bag contains all the essentials - stickers to use as a reward or bribe, coloring sheets, parent information forms and a copy of her baby-sitting training certificate.

It's been a transition for me to become a baby-sitter's mom, especially when you still consider your child to be your own baby. But it's so much fun to watch her come home after a long night's work and be happy with the job she accomplished all on her own.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Cheetah mamas and their girls

Erika, her friend, Carissa, and I had a Cheetahlicious good time Wednesday night at the Xcel Energy Center.

We went to the Cheetah Girls concert and from what I could see, the entire audience was made up of moms and their daughters, some as young as 3 or 4, dressed in leggings and cheetah prints. And I'm talking about the Cheetah moms AND their daughters, many of whom were wearing matching cheetah clothing. Yikes.

Vanessa Hudgens, the female lead in High School Musical, was supposed to be the opening act but the girls were so excited that in her place were Aly and A.J. (And if you don't have a preteen daughter or a guilty pleasure of watching the Disney Channel , you probably have no idea who I'm talking about.) Erika and Carissa knew all of Aly and A.J.'s songs and had a great time singing and dancing along.

When the audience would scream or cheer, it was like 50,000 school girls were yelling in unison on the playground. Pretty funny, but sweet, too. It was nice to see all these young girls at a G-rated highly entertaining performance. (Unlike the Gwen Stefani concert, which Erika and I enjoyed, but where we had a long row of girls under the age of 10 seated behind us singing along to "This shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S." That seemed a little inappropriate.)

Erika and I have been to a few concerts together in the past year. In addition to the Black-eyed Peas/Gwen Stefani concert, we've been to see Sara Evans, Jessica Andrews, SheDaisy, SuperChick, and maybe one or two others I can't remember.

Until I moved to Nashville when I was 20, I hadn't seen many musical performances live so it was fun when I got the internship at the "Nashville Now" show, formerly on TNN. Every night for a year I was able to watch celebrities and entertainers perform, which was great for a small-town girl like me.

While for a long time I thought concerts were sort of a waste of money, a 5-year-old girl named Mariah and her dad, Scott, taught me otherwise.

When Erika and I went to the Jessica Andrews concert in Walker last summer, we ended up sitting right next to Scott and Mariah, whom I've known for many years but not very well. Scott had lost his wife, Mariah's mom, to a brain tumor about six months before the concert and I told him how sorry I was about him losing his wife and that I hoped they were doing well. His wife had been ill for quite some time, since Mariah was 2, I believe.

He told me that he and Mariah had been going to many, many concerts together from Barney the purple dinosaur (Mariah's favorite) to jazz concerts with no words (Scott's favorite, Mariah couldn't stand them, she told us) since around the time that his wife got sick.

He said doctors told him that live music released endorphins in your brain, making you feel good. So concerts were their own version of therapy, to help them both get through losing Mariah's mom.

It was touching, too, to see little Mariah snuggled in on her dad's lap, clapping along and smiling, as she watched the show.

So even though it seemed a bit silly to see those moms dressed in cheetah prints at Wednesday's concert, I soon found myself thinking of Mariah and her dad, wondering if they were out there somewhere in the Xcel Energy Center, and hoped if they were, that she was having a cheetahlicious good time, too.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Monday, November 06, 2006

There's a separation of church and state for a reason

If I have to watch one more political ad on TV I think I'm going to vomit. I can't wait until Wednesday when this whole election is over. I'll be busy working all night I'm sure covering the local House races. Hopefully results will magically come in early so I can get outta here.

I've been trying to get Erika to come with me to go vote (They have a Kids Voting program here where kids can vote, obviously unofficially, at the same time as their parents) but she refuses because she's sick of all the campaign ads.

So I've been trying to become more involved with my church lately ... Erika enjoys the youth activities, including being a member of the church drama club, and she's also involved in Confirmation. Also, I've been having fun teaching Sunday school to the 3-year-olds.

I get a lot of e-mails from our youth director about various events and I've been trying to volunteer often in some capacity. I was a waitress at the recent lutefisk supper and then I helped with this intergenerational Reformation Day event last weekend.

Anyway, so I open up an e-mail from her today and it's a forwarded message from Dr. James Dobson to his "Minnesota friends," telling us why we need to vote for Mark Kennedy, rather than Amy Klobuchar. She had literally e-mailed at least 100 people, including all the Sunday School teachers.

So I'm now fuming. I don't need to be told whom I should vote for ... I'm capable of figuring that out for myself.

Nels doesn't think it's such a big deal, that people are entitled to their own opinions and just delete the e-mails. (She sent it to me twice.) But I feel if I don't stand up and say something, that it looks like I'm complacent. Then again, I may change my mind once my blood pressure returns to normal.

In any case, I think it's best when the church butts out of my politics ... and politics butts out of my church.

I'll step down from the pulpit now. :)

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Ballet bullies

I'm not sure why I should be surprised, but I'm constantly amazed at how thoughtless some people can be.

Last night I took Erika and her friend Hayley to watch one of their best friends dance the lead role of Clara in "The Nutcracker" in Little Falls.

It was a wonderful experience. You should have seen the girls' beaming faces as they watched their friend just light up the stage as she danced. While I don't know her friend that well, I was amazed at how well she danced. She made ballet look almost effortless, which of course, it isn't. The girls each bought her a rose to give her after the performance and then also made handmade cards for her at our house before the show. Her mom, who graciously gave us the tickets, said her daughter was so excited to have her friends there, watching her perform.

Anyway, a guy behind me during the performance listened to a football game via headphones the entire time, giving play-by-play information to the people he was with during breaks in the action and the intermission. (Quite loudly, I might add, since he had the stupid earpieces in and didn't realize he was talking louder than he should be.) What kind of role modeling does that provide for children when dad is more interested in listening to a football game than being "forced" to watch his child (likely a daughter since there were only 3 or 4 boys in the performance) dance in a performance she's probably been practicing for many months?? The women he was with seemed to find it pretty amusing, but I thought it was so sad.

After the play, Erika and Hayley (who sat a half-row away from me because, after all, I'm the mom and chauffeur!) were upset because some older girls seated behind them were making hurtful remarks about their friend as she danced.

They also said some older people wouldn't stop talking loudly during the entire performance, even though they tried the Minnesota Nice version of getting people to shut their pie holes by turning around to look at them, hoping they'd get the hint. They didn't.

On the way home we talked about how some people can be so rude and maybe in the case of those nasty girls, it's because they're jealous of her. I'm hoping the girls don't tell their friend about the rude ballet bullies because it will likely hurt her feelings and, after all, who cares what those girls think?

It bothers me when people display their own special kind of stupid like that in public. They should have been home watching television.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Happy Halloween

Erika decided before Halloween last year that it was going to be her last year trick-or-treating. I was fine with that, after all, it's such a pain trying to dodge costume-clad kids running around Pequot as I'm trying to keep track of what doorway Erika and her friends are trick-or-treating at while I'm their chauffeur.

While I was at work yesterday it made me a little sad thinking that Erika wouldn't be going trick-or-treating this year, that she had "aged" out of the tradition. But I was looking forward to being home for a change on Halloween and being able to pass out candy. Whenever Nels was home on Halloween, he would hide out in our computer room with all the lights off, usually eating some of the candy I bought for the trick-or-treaters while he was avoiding them. Yes, a regular Halloween Scrooge.

Our first trick-or-treater was our neighbor, Carissa, who was dressed as a giant candy corn. It didn't take much arm-twisting but she talked Erika, who was dressed as a "Drama Queen" witch, into going trick-or-treating with her and a friend. It was 27 degrees and off they went. They had a great time. I was worried about letting them go out alone, but she had my cell phone and they had perimeters on where they could go and how late they could stay out.

I only had about 5 or 6 kids stop by all night and I finally turned the front light off around 8:15 p.m. because it had been an hour since the last trick-or-treater stopped by. I think the cooler temps was a big deterrent this year. It was a little disappointing.

My coworkers are now enjoying the candy bowl leftovers, although they're typically groaning every time they reach in the bag for another Twix or sour gumball.

And I'm pretty happy that I still have a 13-year-old who hasn't yet grown out of celebrating Halloween.