My "Don't ask, don't tell" policy

I think there are two types of people in this world, the people who notice your flaws but don't say anything and those who notice them but feel compelled to point them out to you.

I have a co-worker who always seems to point out when: I need my hair colored, I have a zit on my face, I have a salad dressing stain on my shirt from lunch or if for some reason (and no, I don't know why, nothing is wrong with me!) I look flushed or pale. It's really the strangest thing and I think she honestly thinks she's just making conversation or trying to be helpful. There is no obvious malicious intent there.

Here's an example. About a month ago I had a pimple near my neck. Not something I was too excited about but hey, I had my period. Whatever. Like I need to explain why I get zits. She asks me, in front of others in the newsroom, "What happened to your neck?" Here's the conversation that followed:

Me: "It's a zit."
Her: "Oh."

Here's another similar conversation:

Her: "You look really pale."
Me: "Ok. Not sure why."

End of conversation.

Here's one more:

Her: "Your face looks really red."
Me: "That's because I'm hot."
Her: "Oh."

End of conversation.

In sharp contrast, when someone at work (who is not a close friend) has some issues, like yellow armpit stains, a large zit on her face, a booger dangling from his nose, white deodorant on the sides of his sweater — stuff like that, I won't point it out. I notice it, I may snicker to myself or e-mail someone else so she can privately laugh with me, but rarely would I ever say anything.

Heck, I didn't even say anything when one of my bosses, who was eating peanuts, spewed a peanutty chunk onto my computer while he was talking to me. It was quite nasty but my lips were sealed. (Mainly to avoid getting struck with more debris, I guess.) I cleaned the mess off my computer with a tissue after he left my desk. That still grosses me out.

Although, when it involves something like lettuce in someone's teeth, it only seems polite to mention it. This fall my daughter and I were at church and chatting with a woman after Sunday School. It wasn't until we got to the car when Erika happened to mention that I have lipstick all over my front teeth AND that I had the lipstick all over my teeth when I was talking to people at church. She thought that was quite funny. I scrapped the lipstick from my teeth and admonished her for not helping her own mother out.

"C'mon, I birthed you," I told her.

She said she didn't want to interrupt me.

Fabulous.

So what type of person are you? Do you say something or have a "don't ask, don't tell" policy like I do? Is it just plain mean not to point out some of these things or is it much more polite to not say anything?

I'm not sure.

But if Heidi and DeLynn are reading this, I hope to God you let me know when I have lipstick on my teeth or eyeliner smeared under my eyes before I head out on an assignment.