It's shaping up to be a great week

So I was asked this week by my editor if I'd like to become editor of HealthWatch, our quarterly health magazine - and I jumped at the chance.

I'm starting to get pretty excited about it, actually. I don't have much layout experience, but I'm thrilled to get the chance to learn more. I have been writing for HW for years and I do enjoy writing health-related features. Actually, in a former life I think I was a doctor because, thanks to my buddy, Mr. Google and his nurse, Ms. WebMD, I love, love, LOVE diagnosing people and their various ailments.

I've decided to "go green" for my inaugural edition, featuring environmentally-friendly health-related stories. Should be fun.

And today I found out I won a cool children's book from Frantic Mommy. 

Awesome.

Sweet 16

Whenever someone asks me about my daughters, I inevitably get the same response:

"Wow, that is quite the age gap!"

Um, yeah. I realize that.

My girls are 15 years apart. When we've been out and Erika is carrying Madeline, people often think she is her baby. She's usually not too thrilled about this, either. Last fall when we were school shopping, Erika brought Maddy with her into a shoe store while I was paying for something in a nearby shop in the mall. The sales clerk asked Erika if she could help her find shoes for her daughter. Erika quickly informed her that she's her little sister and no, she was shopping for shoes for herself. I can just picture the look of horror on her face. When I walked into the store she quickly handed Maddy off to me so she could find shoes in her size.

On Monday both my girls will be Sweet 16.

Madeline turns 16 months tomorrow and Erika is 16 years. I'm not sure if their ages sort of match up like this again in their lives but to me, it's worth commemorating. I've having my husband take some nice photos of them together. I'll post them here if I can. Sometimes Erika's hard to pin down. She's playing Mrs. Darling in our community theater's production of "Peter Pan," and she's very active in speech, in addition to taking college and online courses at her high school. She's rarely home and when she is, she's doing homework before she goes to bed.

Madeline adores her big sis and always cries when Erika leaves for school or, like tonight, when she's watching a movie with her boyfriend downstairs. Ugh.

A couple friends of mine recently asked me how I deal with the whole dating scene with my teen daughter, since their daughters are preteens now and really, like I told them, I have no good advice on that. I hate it. It drives me crazy knowing that they're making out in my basement.

But she's a high school junior and in 1-1/2 years she'll be away at college. I've got to allow her to date, be with her friends and basically have to trust her. She's a good kid and actually, her boyfriend is a nice guy.

Fortunately  I have plenty of time to worry about Madeline making out with her boyfriend in our basement.

My girls' age difference wasn't planned but I think they may be spaced out perfectly. I had long forgotten how painful childbirth was when I had Maddy, and by the time Maddy's 16 (years, not months), I'll have forgotten how painful these teen years are. Shoot, I'll probably have Alzheimers by then I'll be so old. :-))

It's a win-win, really.

Message from above

So I was at a local, friendly neighborhood grocery store - one of my faves - yesterday to pick up some whole milk and fruit for Madeline on my drive home from work. I walked quickly by the aisles since it was after 7 p.m. and I wanted to get home.


As I was thinking about what other types of food I should get for Maddy I look above and saw this sign:

I found out exactly what our baby needed, right in Aisle 5.

Baby Needs Candy.

So I got some gummy worms. For me. 

'Cause Momma Needs Candy, too.

Fishing with Grandpa

Nels took Maddy down to the Norquist Clan fishhouse - the Taj Mahal of all fishhouses - to see if my dad was catching anything Friday. This fishhouse, which is owned by my husband, his two brothers and their cousin, is huge. It has a stove, Lazy Boy recliner, couch, CD player and speakers, etc.

Maddy had so much fun! She loved holding the fishing pole and got mad when anyway tried to take it away, I guess. Plus, she liked playing with the minnow bucket, swirling the scoop around the bucket. Nels had to take it away when she tried to lick the scoop...so gross.

But my little girlie had lots of fun with her grandpa and daddy and I know she'll be hanging out in the fishhouse with them for many years to come!

No Phone Zone

Madeline, 15 months, chatting on her phone - and driving! What a poor influence her momma is on her!

My teen's cell phone is like another appendage for her and it is the thing I worry about most when she begins driving. I warn her about the dangers of texting or talking on her cell phone when she does get her license, probably later this spring, and yet I'm a big offender myself.

I normally don't text and drive, but I have done it a handful of times, not something I care to admit. Since I have a 30-minute drive to work each way, I have gotten in the habit of being on my phone for most of that time, which is not good. After watching Oprah last week about the dangers of texting and driving, I've decided I need to make a change, if only to show my teenage daughter the importance of staying off your phone while driving. And, oh yeah, so I don't kill anyone or myself because of my distracted driving.

So I am cutting down the amount of time I'm on the phone in the car - to only make necessary and brief calls if I have to. For sure, I will not talk on the phone when I have either of my children in my car. No phone call is worth their lives. I know I should take Oprah's "No Phone Zone" pledge but I'm not sure if I'm ready for that yet. Cold turkey is probably the way to go but .... I don't know.

I think going phoneless in the car might be a freeing experience, a way to unwind, think things through and to actually enjoy the scenery. I drive by several lakes each day and I actually don't remember if there are a lot of fishhouses out there right now or not.

I'll have to check that out tomorrow.

Passing the bugs

Madeline hasn't been feeling well the last several days - runny nose, fever, etc. - and now, when I thought the worst of it was over, it appears she's given it to me. I have a feeling she caught the bug from her ECFE class last Monday since she started getting symptoms on Wednesday. Plus, she's not around any other kids and Erika's feeling OK. Oh well, the price you pay to socialize and educate your kiddo. :)

I stayed home from work today and have spent the day with a headache, coughing, sore throat, runny nose, fever, etc. I feel terrible. And of course Nels is rubbing it in my face that I have had both the H1N1 and seasonal flu shots and here I get sick. I don't know if it's the flu or not - I like to think it's another annoying virus. Nels is sort of anti-flu shots so this has given him a lot of ammunition. Gah...stubborn men.

But he said he's starting to get a sore throat so I guess he's next at bat for this thing. I'm thankful he's been taking care of Maddy today because I've felt so weak.

Well, I better get back to my coughing.

Oops, I did it again...

I think I have to give up on cutting Maddy's hair...she always ends up looking like a child out of the 1950s! She's going to hate me for it later on, but hey, what can you do? It almost looks like a perfect bowl cut, really...This was her second haircut.

Here she's eating with a spoon, and doing a good job!  She's been sort of obessed with spoons. She has a  play tea set from Christmas that has spoons with it and today she was trying to feed our dog, Daisy, tea with a spoon. It was pretty cute until Daisy got annoyed and walked away.

Maddy has her second ECFE class Monday and two of her cousins, Lila and Ruby, are in it! Lila just joined this week. I'm sure they'll have a great time! Maddy had a fever the last couple of days and I wasn't sure if I should bring her to ECFE (where she probably got sick in the first place), but there's no sign of a fever today and she's running around like a wild woman.

So, game on.

Madeline is saying so many words now. She loves to brush her "teeth" and she says "kitty" "momma" and "dada," among others. When we read her "Chicka Chicka ABC" book she's recognizing which letters are the "A," "B" and "C."

It's so fun to watch her learn and develop into the little girl she's destined to be.

Maddy is 15 months old

Here is our Madeline.

She may look sweet - and she is! But she's also very sneaky and mischievous.

She loves to help out in the kitchen.

She's a fabulous cook - just ask her!

She's a free spirit - definitely not a germaphobe!

She loves a good challenge.

And when the odds seems stacked against her...

She always comes out on top.

My Faves

Here is where you'll find some of my favorite links!

About ME

Bear with me as I try to figure this whole linky thing out! :-))

A few of my favorite things

Madeline (14 months) is joined by her cousins Maya and Madison (6 months)

The Christmas holiday has (sadly) come and gone, and now I'm sitting here, on a Sunday, dreading the return to my work week. Although, thankfully, I do have Friday off and three days next week. Nels will be exploring New York City with one of his good friends and a fellow photographer and then heading to Connecticut for a wedding photography conference.

I decided to take some time off, mainly because my PTO has joyfully been repopulated on my timecard (Happy New Year!) and I thought I'd spend some non-holiday-related time with my baby. Erika will be in school but I thought Madeline and I could do some fun things...like host a tea party, which is what we did yesterday with her, not one but THREE new tea sets she got for Christmas. Funny. She loves them all and is pretty funny to watch as she sips her tea.

I had more than 25 relatives over on Christmas Day, including five kiddos under the age of 5. Everything went very smooth and they're already starting to harass me about hosting it next year. Geesh! Not even giving me some time to forget about all the blood, stress and tears I went through to get ready for the big day.

Here are a few of my favorite things that happened during the holidays:

• Pregnancies! No, I'm not prego, but I found out on Christmas Eve a very good friend of mine is, after trying for more than a decade to get pregnant. So, so happy for her and her husband. They broke the news to their families on Christmas Eve and Christmas so I'm dying to hear the details! Also, my cousin Shannon had an ultrasound last week and had the technician write down the gender of her baby due May 1. They then opened the envelope on Christmas Eve, surrounded by family, and learned they were having another boy! Such exciting news!
• It was so fun to see how well Erika watched over and played with her little cousins and sister. It was also fun to watch her open up her new laptop we got her for Christmas. I don't think the laptop has been idle since Christmas Eve.
• We just enjoyed popcorn from my Whirley Pop popcorn maker. I love stovetop popcorn but Nels didn't like that I got the pot so filthy from making it. Problem solved. He got me this stovetop popcorn maker and it's fabulous. That thing is going to get a lot of use.
• Last but not least, I got to meet my twin nieces, Maya and Madison! They're six months old and came home from New York for the first time. So fun! Madeline was so sweet with her twin cousins but a bit wary, too, when they would start giggling at her antics. Those girls are going to have lots of fun as they grow up together.
• I felt blessed to be surrounded by family and good friends.

Hope your holidays went as well. Here's to a healthy and happy 2010!

Perspective

I always tell people that Christmas is my favorite holiday but really, I don't know why I think that way. The Fourth of July is much less stressful. Warmer, too.

Between trying to finish all the stories I have to write and getting enough work hours in before 2:30 p.m. Thursday, when I have to make it to the church service with my in-laws, and planning to host 21 adults and 12 children for Christmas at my house, I'm on the verge of a breakdown. Oh yeah, and the shopping. That totally sucks. I'm terrible at buying gifts. I'm working long days and then coming home and, like tonight, cleaning the bathrooms at 10 p.m.

I didn't see my 14-month-old at all today. Sigh.

Today I took a long break from work, and life, in general, and attended my friend Cindy's funeral. To my surprise, my 16-year-old wanted to go too, so I picked her up at school.

The streets were lined with cars but I found a semi-illegal place to park. As we were walking in, I ran into my favorite eye doctor, a genuinely nice man who is battling terminal brain cancer. We ended up sitting next to him and his family in the packed church.

It really put many things in perspective for me. As much as I'm dreading the holiday gatherings, and a few of my relatives, at least I'm relatively healthy. None of my family members are ill or dying, as far as I know, and I'm fortunate to be able to spend the holiday with my loving husband and two beautiful girls.

After the funeral, which was quite emotional for all of us, my daughter sought out Cindy's son, Danny, and gave him a hug. It was a thoughtful guesture and made me very proud of her.

I have a lot to be thankful for this Christmas. Here are two of those reasons:

Heaven gained one more angel

There are people in this world that you never expect to lose. You see them at the grocery store and stop and chat. Or on church on Sunday.

Cindy Ringstrom is one of those people. Sadly, she died unexpectantly because of an infection related to antibiotic use, on Friday. She was only 52.

Cindy's 16-year-old son, Danny, is friends with my daughter and she taught Sunday school for them for many years, following the class up each grade as they got older. When I started teaching the 3-year-old class, she taught the 4/5-year-old class and our little kiddos would often have music and activities together.  She also helped with Erika's confirmation class, serving as a mentor. She was so nice, so considerate and such an asset to our church - and community in general. If a volunteer was needed, Cindy was always there. I have many wonderful memories of chatting with Cindy while our little students worked on a craft or practiced for their programs.

I spent much of the weekend in tears, thinking of her, of how her family lost her just before Christmas. She loved her two little grandsons, who attend our church, too, and was excited about her new grandbaby due in March.

It's still such a shock. I can't believe she's gone. I just saw her last week helping with the children's Christmas program. And now her funeral is planned at the same church on Tuesday.

Life is far too short.

God bless the Ringstrom family as they struggle through this difficult time...and her many, many friends, whom I know are having a hard time accepting that Cindy is gone. Like me.

Houston, we have a walker!

Madeline, now 13 months, is officially a walker! And nothing, not the cat, dog or our cabinets, are safe anymore.

It's funny how the simple act of walking is an incredible milestone. She's now trying to open doors, climbing on top of the coffee table (and falling off, too!) and trying to grab forbidden items off the counter.

Life in our home has become a game of strategy. Before I put her down to roam, I have to make sure the doors are shut, the dog is in the baby play gate (to protect her from Maddy), the dog water and food bowls are on the counter (she's dumped water on herself a half dozen times and been caught eating dog food) and ... the list goes on.

Exhausting.

But with this freedom has come some fun rewards, too. She brings me and her daddy books to read to her, letting out an exuberant scream as she puts her arms up for us to put us on her lap. Her favorite books are "Piggies," "The Monster At The End Of The Book (was one of my fave's too!), "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom!" (one of Erika's favorites) and "Llama, Llama Red Pajama."

Maddy has the funniest belly laughs and she loves to dance to music. Elmo is her absolute favorite. She plays with her talking Elmo doll and loves to watch "Sesame Street." My parents and I both DVR it so she can get her Elmo fix.

I'm getting excited for Maddy's second Christmas but we're a bit concerned about getting a tree this year. Knowing my little girl, she'll be trying to figure out a way to climb it - with help from the cat.

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween! Madeline wasn't loving her wig, but she certainly looked adorable at my work children's Halloween party Friday.
We may go out and trick or treat at a few friends' and families' houses but really, since Maddy doesn't eat candy it's more of a pain this year than it's worth.

Maddy seemed a bit overwhelmed at my work Halloween party and got completely freaked out when her three cousins, Jack, Luke and Reed, showed up dressed in ghoulish costumes. I tried to snap their photo together and nope, didn't work out.

I wish Madeline had many cousins living next to her like I did. I always had so much fun trick or treating with them each year. The best part was going to my grandparents' house and finding out how grandpa was going to scare trick or treaters that year. He always dressed kinda scary and would sit like a statue in his yard or on his deck, waiting til the kids got closer for a better look. Scared me every time, even if I knew it was Grandpa Les sitting in that chair.

Miss you, grandpa! Wish you were here to enjoy the holiday!

Writing 101

A friend and I have decided to find ways to encourage ourselves to start writing again in hopes of beginning those novels we keep telling ourselves we're going to write. We found a Web site that provides short topics for writing prompts and decided to pick one daily.

I thought I'd share what I wrote for our first assignment.

Describe the easiest decision you've ever made.

I wasn’t sure where I was going, what I was going to do, or even if I was going to make anything of myself.

The one thing I knew for sure was that the test was positive. I was 21, single, living alone thousands of miles from home and pregnant.

It was the hardest phone call I ever had to make, calling my mom and telling her I was pregnant. I cringe now, just thinking about how badly I sucked at it.

Sure, I had a few options, but it was the easiest decision I’ve made in my life. I was about to embark on a difficult path, leading to God knows where, a trailer in some backwater Minnesota town like Jenkins, I imagined. I had to leave my slightly remarkable life in the big city, working behind-the-scenes in television and going to school at a nearby private college to an unremarkable return to my parent’s basement with a baby in my belly and a 90-minute one-way commute to the nearest state university.

But it worked out. The baby is now a beautiful high school junior who towers over me, gets straight As and drives me insanely crazy most days.

And I couldn’t have planned it any better.

Happy 1st Birthday, Madeline!

It's official!

Our baby is no longer a baby! She's a toddler. Madeline turned one on Thursday and we had a family party on Saturday.

She grew bored with opening up her gifts and, naturally, wanted to play with the boxes instead. We were letting her play with the Little People Animal Sounds Farm box until Sunday when she took a header off the box, landing onto the wood floors.

Meanwhile, we weren't sure last week if Maddy was going to have a party since her big sis came down with a suspected case of the H1N1 virus. Thankfully, she got the flu earlier in the week so she was better for Maddy's party. I also was grateful that the rest of us didn't catch it either since nothing clears a birthday party faster than saying you've got the swine flu. One of my twin nephews wasn't there because he was sick but I guess he was diagnosed with strep throat.

At 3:23 p.m. Oct. 15, I was at my mother-in-law's house. It's hard to believe that it was at this precise time we first laid eyes on our precious Madeline.

It's been hard not to dwell on how I would be about 4-5 months pregnant right now with Maddy and Erika's little brother or sister if I hadn't had a miscarriage in July.

But I do take comfort in the fact that our girls are happy, healthy and love each other.

Terrible twos, ready or not, here we come!

On a lighter note...

Here's a recent photo of Madeline, 10 months old, swinging at a local park. She is so full of life. It's a joy to pick her up out of her crib every morning because she's always so excited to see me. She has three teeth now, which she used to clench down and leave a small blood blister on my finger a couple of days ago when I was trying to figure out if she was getting her fourth tooth yet.

Erika turned 16 today. She's visiting her dad and his family in Las Vegas this week (Sept. 1) but we're going to celebrate her birthday next weekend with a marathon shopping session.

We have had a couple other losses in the past couple of months, in addition to our pregnancy loss. My cat, Sam, died in early August at the age of 17. He was the soul of our home and he's missed by all, although we knew it was for the best because he had gotten very weak. I had gotten him from a cameraman I knew in Nashville when I worked at a television show there. Sam was just a kitten, living underneath his neighbor's steps.

Also, our goldfish died, which had more lives than most cats. It had a deformed short fin and would often float upside down to save its strength. You'd think it was about to die when suddenly it would start swimming again. This went on for several years. It was nice, I must admit, to finally take the aquarium apart, clean and store it. It had been in our living room for many years, taking up valuable real estate.

I'm so excited to sign Madeline up for an Early Childhood Family Education class this fall. Even my baby is going to school this fall, which is fun. :) And Erika starts back to school on Tuesday. In addition to several college courses she's taking in high school, she has a child development class she's excited about. I have a feeling she might be taking Maddy as a class guest. I'm sure Madeline will love it.

Rainbows, butterflies and other sad tales

I found out I was pregnant June 30. The bleeding started the next day.

And I've spent the past two months going through weekly blood draws, a few depressing ultrasounds showing no signs of new life, two-for-one shots of Methotrexate, a cancer drug that required me to stop breastfeeding Madeline immediately — and a constant yearning for the lil' munchkin that won't be born in the spring.

We weren't trying to get pregnant but apparently the estrogen-only pills I was taking weren't quite that effective for me. We were both pretty stunned, thinking that we'd have babies about 17 months apart. But it was exciting, too.

And since I seem to be quite the efficient breeder, I never gave it a second thought that this pregnancy would be any different than my previous two. I went online that night and ordered a pink onesie for Madeline which read on the front "I've got a secret..." And on the back continued ... "I'm going to be a big sister!" It was how we were going to share the good news with our families.

I spent the Fourth of July weekend wondering if I was still pregnant or not. But that Monday my HcG levels dropped, confirming I was having a miscarriage. It was the same day I got that damn onesie for Maddy in the mail.

About three weeks later I took a pregnancy test, just to see if my HcG levels were back to normal and the test revealed I was pregnant. A blood test detected even higher HcG levels, possibly indicating a new pregnancy.

After another flurry of blood draws and two ultrasounds and more bleeding, my doctor felt I was either having a continuation of the miscarriage or an ectopic pregnancy. There was no sign of a gestational sac or baby in my uterus or tubes so it was highly recommended I get the methotrexate shot, which eliminates any leftover fetal material so I wouldn't find myself with a burst fallopian tube and subsequent emergency surgery. It was an agonizing decision, since I was hoping there was a viable pregnancy in there — anywhere! — but there wasn't.

It was sad for me to be forced to quit nursing Madeline, too. While I was only nursing her mornings and nights at this point, I had hoped to nurse her until she was 1. She was 9 months. Fortunately, she didn't seem bothered by the abrupt end of her breastmilk supply.

Now, two months later, I'm still dealing with the bleeding involved with my pregnancy loss and hopefully that'll end soon. My HcG levels are nearly down to zero.

It's amazing how quickly it took me to become pregnant and how painstakingly long it's taken me to become unpregnant. While I may have only been pregnant for a short time, it's hard not to think about the pregnancy experience and newborn baby that we'll be missing out on. The baby would have been due in March. Around the same time as the Duggar family's 19th baby.

On the miscarriage/pregnancy loss message boards I now frequent they refer to a baby conceived after a miscarriage as a rainbow baby. Hopefully, we'll be able to someday conceive our rainbow baby. My husband isn't ready to make that decision now, however.

In the meantime, I'm thinking about buying a butterfly necklace as a remembrance for the little one who fluttered away, way too soon. Many other cultures, including the Greeks, Celts and early Christians, believed that butterflies were new souls seeking new life, that they represent the undying circle of life and death. The Celts believed that women became pregnant by swallowing tiny butterfly souls.

I saw a Monarch butterfly as I was walking into work the other day and thought of this.

Perhaps, just maybe. He/she will flutter in again and stay this time.

For good.

Stinkin' Swine Flu

Just had to share how Madeline is all ready for the swine flu, thanks to my dad, who paints houses and had some 3m masks on hand.